her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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