Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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