Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
This is my gift to your gina
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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