yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
