While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
