Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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