I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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