Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
