i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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