very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
