Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
