I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
