she was so not down for the gang bang
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
