Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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