I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i will never coherently bang her
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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