Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
