Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
should my penis look like a turkey
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
