His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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