true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
