Dual....:-)
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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