He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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