speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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