69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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