yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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