The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
