so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
