the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize