As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
