We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
