the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize