In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
