I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
