hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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