He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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