Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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