I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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