I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
