I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
