Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize