i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
