Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
