I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
