is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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