Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
