You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
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