dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
