you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
