I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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