I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
