..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
