The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
