Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
birth control should be required to get into college
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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