Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
