Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
