If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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