I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize