Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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