somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Holy shit dude........stairs
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
