Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
