It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
