Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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