I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize