Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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