If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
