my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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